and is now this:
So, I volunteered for this baby shower in August... which has given me 8 months to prepare. And I've worked so hard. But, it is my nature to do all of the PLANning way far in advance, but save all of the DOing until the very last minute. Like my term paper, when I had all of my notecards meticulously organized, but when it came down to it, my friends the Kathys (who thankfully did not function the same way that I do) and I were typing that stuff in and printing it out just before the bell rang. That's my kind of adrenaline rush. Not the kind that comes from skydiving or riding rollercoasters.
Anyway, moral of the story is... it's Thursday and I don't find it hard to believe at all that I have (at least) thirteen baby-shower related things on my to-do list. I have consulted my Microsoft Excel spreadsheet that has become my "baby shower brain" and here's what I need to do:
3. Cut out two more sheets of guitars. If I never cut another skull or guitar out again, I think I would lead a satisfying life. Thank goodness for my Stampin' Up scissors!
4. After cutting, I need to turn all of these skulls & guitars into cupcake toppers, mobiles, garlands, and whatever else I have drawn in my little sketch book. Because I need to make my living room look like this:
5. That means I need to stick some iron-on transfers onto some onesies, figure out how to hang a clothes line on my living room wall (I really want it on the wall, but if I can't figure it out, I'll go for the curtain rod over the sliding door) and then hang my cute little baby clothes (I mean the cute little baby clothes I bought for the baby!) on it. (David keeps scolding me for calling this MY shower)
6. Make a garland for the mantle, remove the Easter eggs from the big vase thingy and put red and black balls in it. Get out the red candle holders I've been collecting and stick some red and/or black ribbon on the clear candle holders I have (only 4? how is that possible?) and get my "mantlescape" ready.
7. Slipcover my couches. Yes, you heard me correctly. I don't want to have a black-red-and-silver baby shower with brown couches! David is lucky I haven't spraypainted the coffee table...or made him lug the step tansu out of the living room!
8. And also knit a heart-shaped pillow (half of it is already done and around here somewhere) so I can add wings and a "MOM" tattoo. And find something to stuff it with... I might end up unstuffing one of my own pillows or stealing a stuffed animal from a small child.
9. And also stop eating the pretzel rods so I can dip them in the red and white melting chocolates. At least I hope "candy melts" are chocolate. Or at least edible.
10. And make Oreo truffles.
11. And go to the commissary for veggies. Because even though I would've been totally satisfied with a menu consisting of chocolate, the former-mother-to-be (now just mother) requested "my" (mom's) taco salad. And if we're going to have taco salad, we can't just have a dessert shower so I need some veggies and etc. now, which adds about 100 more things to my to-do list between chopping and mixing and arranging stuff on platters.
12. Spruce up this nasty looking wreath that was supposed to look like this but failed. This is what happens, people, when you live an ocean away from a Hobby Lobby or Jo-Ann and are forced to shop at the base Arts & Crap center. There are no foam wreath forms, and so you must "improvise" using an embroidery hoop that makes your wreath look scraggly and sad. And also I blame the fact that I never went to kindergarten and therefore never learned to tie a proper knot. And also that I used lousy ribbon because I am a cheapskate. But maybe it will look a little bit better when I stick some skulls and guitars on it and hang it on my front door. Or maybe I will finagle my own wreath form from some newspaper and a wire hanger? Because you know I need more things to do in the next 50 hours.13. Wrap the prizes for the games (people don't like prizes that other people pick out anyway, so we're going with a tealight candle) and find some kind of hard surface for people to write on, and gather up some pens. And also think of a way to let everyone know that if I were allowed to play the game called "make as many words as you can out of the baby's name" I would totally win. Because I already played by myself and got way over 100 words, without including plurals. Including an 8 letter word. I might give myself a prize for that anyway. I deserve it.
And one thing I already finished: